Our friend Rich always seems to find new ways to punish/humiliate himself - He worked in a steel mill for half a day before getting the hell out of there, wiped out in front of our house playing football - causing some knee ligament damage (Rich still claims that it was my fault)- here's a recent one involving physical fitness.
"On Saturday late afternoon, Tina decides to go for a run at the Shelton high school track with me and her sister. I had forgotten that she has been training for a 1/2 marathon and now can run 8 miles without sweating. So I run a mile with them, and then go to the football field to do some sprints. In Crossfit format, I do 30 yards, then do 20 pushups. Another 30 yards, then 20 situps. then sprint 40 yards. I do 2 sets of these with no rest, and collapse in the south end zone of sheer exhaustion.
Seeing Tina and her sister still running, I do a gut-check and mosey over to the corner of the stadium where I see some monster truck tires lying around. I decide to dead lift one and flip it over as many times as I can. It's impossible. From the other side of the field, Tina yells "What the hell are you doing?". I respond "They do this on the world's strongest man." She yells in retort "You are nowhere near the world's strongest man. You're an idiot!" I shirk away as others on the field share a laugh.
I woke up Sunday morning and could barely walk. no joke. I think I overdid it."
Andy's reply:
"When i read "monster truck tire" I thought that the next sentence was going to be "...surgery for my torn biceps / herniated disks"
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4 comments:
holy lawl that was fuckin great!!
For a minute i thought it was you who did that shit mike!
Ho' fuck that was great.
We all have that friend. Mine jumps over things. After he succeeds, he invariably decides he didn't jump it ENOUGH, and fucks up.
I was actually waiting for the truck tire lift to turn into the ever horrible
"then I crapped my pants" ending.
but then again, I am highly amused by slapstick and poop jokes still
I was waiting for the Monster Truck to come back to run you over, that's why she was calling you an idiot, But I missed a line.
I thought the two stories at first had something to Rich, not just the first.
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